One of the hardest things for me is to not feel guilty for putting myself first sometimes. My boys are both active in sports and other things, so I am running like crazy during much of my free time after work. Unfortunately it turned into an ugly cycle of being stressed out, then feeling down, then giving up and turning to food for comfort at the end of the day. I am 46 and have vowed to finally make a permanent change so that I will be a happier and better woman all the way around. One day at a time.....

Hi, I read your message about getting motivated, well sometimes when I'm struggling to achieve something that i'm not too fond of doing I take deep breaths and focus on the end result. Maybe you could try keeping an exercise journal-you praise yourself when you make your goal and the day you don't you make adjustments for it the next day. or maybe instead of a straight 30 min workout try 3 ten minute ones and spread them through out the day.

I had promised miself that the day I achieve a full week of walking regularly I would treat myself to a pedicure with the pretty designs done on my toes. It's working!

Hang in there.

Hi,

Just a quick note. I am a mom of two although mine are now 23 and 25. You MUST take time for you ...so you can be there for them in  the long haul. My ME time has stuck with me(I'm 47) and my older friends now laugh although I know they are . My ME time could be a hot bubble bath..sometimes ealrier than planned..but the kids learned to know and understand that Mommy needed ME time so she could have energy to play longer with them. Sometimes ME time is just heading out around the small victorian town we live in by myself just to appreciate nature and the sights. I started buying myself a $ bouquet of fresh cut flowers (from local grocery) every couple weeks....my daughter always made fun of me. It wasnt that my husband wouldnt...he sometimes stopped and picked me wildflwers,,,but we never had money for  extras when the kids were grwoing up.

As I got older my ME time involved tanning 1 or 2 times a week( live in NOrthwestern PA and its wonderful in the cold months).

As far as ME time when it comes to weight loss...I needed the support of my husband  to understand that I needed 1 hour every MOnday to go to my weight loss support group(TOPS) and I needed him to support me when I was struggling with that chocolate ice cream I had bought for he and the kids as  a treat.

Anyhow...you need to change your mind set about putting yourslef last ...I know how difficult that is as a Mom ...but its funny...My kids are grown and comment on how I  find time to take care of myself. My daughter  comments on the weight I haev lost in the last year and she no longer laughs at me for buyinh myself flowers..she buys them for herself now too!

Take time for ME time...you'll appreciate it years from now and so will your family when you are healthier and happier! Good luck! Lisa

Hi bluezi,

your words are honest,and inspire others!

kellya63 

Being an old mother ( I was 34 when I had my twins) I was also putting everyones needs before mine.  Then I heard my husband say to my kids " When mamas not happy nobodys happy."  That gave me the motivation to take the time for myself.  I realized I was making others unhappy by trying to make them happy.  Always take some time for yourself...even if it is 5 mins it releaves stress and everyone is happier!  

I was 32 when I had my first child and now at 40, I am a very busy mom who works outside the home.  I have found that even 5 minutes to 30 (which I am blessed to get every now and then), makes a difference.  I'm the kind of person who never wants to put anyone out by asking for help, but I've discovered that people want to help sometimes.  My children spend a couple hours at grandma's house on a Saturday so I can do things that I need to do.  I used to feel guilty about that until I realized that grandma wanted time with the kids too!  :)  Think about resources in your family and friends network that can help you out once in a while for a couple of hours time to yourself.   It will make such a difference in your life to give yourself that. 

I hope you found the motivation you were looking for.  I read your post today and everything you said really resignated with me.  I have three children all under five and if I can get on the treadmill even twice for five to ten minutes a day it makes me feel so much better.  I also work outside the home and find that if I can squeeze in a five to ten mintue walk twice in the work day I've scored big time.

It is wonderful that you have family to help you out. My husband is quite willing to give me the time I need to walk, I just have a difficult time finding motivation "to exercise" even though when I do walk I feel so much better.

Thanks again for your post.

I so agree with that.  My kid is 25 and been long out of the house.  But I too am finding it hard to find the motivation "to evercise" and like you I feel so much better if I do exercise.  You would think it would be easier to do something that makes us feel better...

hi i have a 28yr. old and a13 yr. old. i have to work on my mindset once thats working i drink lots of water and walk for 30 min. per day.jnleb

I have been fighting my weight all my adult life. I am now 61. I have had 4 weight loss surgeries (repaired or changed 3 times). My husband had back surgery last year that left him with nerve damage in his leg. He was also pre-diabetic. I knew he needed to lose weight or there was a danger in him losing that leg if the diabetes developed. On Jan. 1, 2008, I put him and me on a "diet" I have been  on and off diets for years, but this is the first time I feel that I have made a "life change".  He has lost 35 lbs. and I have lost 30. We both have a some to go, but we feel better than we ever had. There were two tips that have helped us to stay focused on our healthier eating habits. The first is keeping a food diary. A complete food diary. One sip of soda, write a down. Mustard on your sandwich, write it down. You will be amazed how much you eat and where you can skip a few calories. The second is do not beat yourself up and give up if you have a bad day. We have messed up one day, but did not just give up. Tomorrow is another day. I also weigh every day. I know they tell you not to, but it has helped up to realize what that doughnut actually cost us in progress. Good Luck!, Stay with it! You are on the right track.

 thanks for your honesty and openness.  I admire your hard work and give you much credit.  Keep up the good work and great attitude. 

 I felt like I was hearing myself speak when I just read what you wrote, I too do not have too much to lose, but like you said it creeps up. I also go up 20lbs, down 10 and then put on again and then lose a few here and there. its just frustrating as my clothing doesn’t fit so well anymore and I find myself buying loose stuff, that is really not faltering or ice for work, but I have a full wardrobe if I could just fit into it

Regards,

Jacky

I'm new at this but I saw the subject line and had to join. I'm 33 years old and have always struggled with my weight. A little over a year ago I managed to loose enough to get within 15lbs of my ideal weight. This last year I have gone through so many changes and now I'm 50lbs overweight. I used to have a friend that walked with me everyday but she moved last year and trying to find someone to partner up with has not been easy. My family and friends are all thin and their idea of weight loss is a few vanity pounds.

I have been wanting to get back into a routine because I know that if I get the motivation to exercise I will begin eating healthier as well. Why does starting have to be the hardest? 

One big thing I haved learned from 2 friends being on Slim for Life, is you can't completely deprive yourself or you will just give up and blow the diets. They do their chicken and vegetables for some dinners, then they can eat some of what they want at a restaurant on another day. Its all moderation. It does take a ton of will power, but if you eat poorly one day, don't give up and think you blew it, just plan on the healthy option the next day. My friends have had several days in a row that they didn't eat the greatest, they just get back on grilling some chicken and bringing salads to work. One way I am looking at it is to save money by bringing my lunch. I fix a salad the night before, or grill an extra piece of chicken or lean meat. I am not saying it is easy, I am not losing like I would like to. Take that split second just to pass on dessert or eat a small portion of pasta and skip the bread, you are decreasing your calorie and fat intake with small decisions. One step at a time!